A strong man is a home protector

“Or again, how does anyone enter a strong man’s house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? Then he can plunder his house” Matthew 12:29 NIV

This verse speaks to my heart about the importance of a strong man protecting his home and his most prized possessions, his family. When a man is tied up with his issues and struggles, it limits his ability to protect his family. His absence, either mentally, physically, or more often both, leaves the family vulnerable to those seeking to take advantage of them.

Dangers of your absence

Predators seek out those who are unprotected, and the absence of fathers leaves the door open for the family to be taken advantage of by predators of all kinds. Mental, physical, financial, and sexual exploitation are all more likely when a strong man is not on guard. Their absence is neglect of duty, and physical and emotional neglect contribute greatly to other adverse childhood events such as divorce, physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, as well as increased risk of substance abuse. The more adverse childhood events an individual has, the more likely they are to have mental and physical health problems. So, you have got to be there.

Identify what ties you up

Many men find themselves tied up in various activities and interests that result in an imbalance and limit their presence within the home. The commitments don’t have to be particularly bad things. Sometimes, overcommitment to work, activities like sports or education, or social organizations can intrude on home duties. However, issues such as inappropriate relationships, substance use, and other forms of pleasure or relief can often play a role.  The interests and activities that take up your time, energy, and resources from the family must be carefully managed.  Think of three things that are currently tying you up and taking you away from home. What are you missing in the absence?  Are there ways to better balance your commitments?

Building Strength

To prevent yourself from getting tied up, you must be strong in the Lord. This requires building yourself up, being able to rely on others, and being willing to submit to God. Becoming stronger in anything requires enduring tests at increased frequency and intensity, such that you break down, resulting in you coming back stronger.  It is an adaptation to stress that results in growth in anticipation of handling more difficult stresses to come. Trust, if you’re trying to be strong in the Lord, the devil will be coming at you more intensely and frequently than others because he understands that you serve a purpose.

Strength is obtained through struggle

Some of us had the privilege of being raised by strong men, men who are strong in the Lord. They protected the house and set a good example of how a strong man carries himself. All the while providing lessons regarding the beliefs, techniques, and practices required to build yourself up. In addition, those strong men then provided guidance on how to push through struggles. They normalized the struggle as a way to improve your strength as opposed to a sign of weakness. We would benefit from continuing to teach the former and not the latter.

Family bonding

It is imperative to recognize that strength is enhanced through connections, both within and outside the house.  The bond one has with their family serves to prevent a strong man from being tied up in the first place. Being present strengthens the family connections, and a strong, united marriage serves as a deterrent to those people or activities that tie up most men. What activities do you currently engage in to strengthen your relationship? If you are not sure, I recommend beginning with a date night or morning coffee. My daily coffee talks with my wife have been a Godsend regarding strengthening our bond.  The provision of appropriate oversight of the children requires one’s presence, which further serves to decrease the potential for outside distractions to tie you up. Build memories by scheduling bonding times with children outside of oversight. Let your relationship flourish. A bond with a father does wonders for keeping children out of trouble and the troublemakers away.

Importance of Fellowship

I have experienced significant growth from the Kingdom Men’s group I attend on Thursdays. That fellowship has been crucial for building my strength in the Lord. I encourage all men to join a Men’s group at their church or start one if their church does not have one.  Bonding with other strong men through prayer, praise, worship, and studying the Word enhances your strength. Wise counsel and experience go a long way towards overcoming challenges. Having brothers to hold you up when you get weary in battle, like Aaron and Hur for Moses, a source of support and encouragement. Brothers who stand beside you until the battle is won.

Submit to God

The greatest strength comes through submission to God, the all-mighty creator of the Universe, who has all power in his hands. By submitting to the will of God and strengthening your connection to him, His power can now flow through you. You heighten your power of discernment, which allows for early detection and prevention. God wants us to have healthy and fulfilling marriages, and we are instructed to raise our children. A strong connection provides a heightened sense of perception, alertness, and reactivity, enhancing your capabilities to protect your home and possessions.

Full Armor of God

Be sure to put on the full armor of Good. Ephesians 6: 13-17 (NIV), “¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

Keys for home protection

1. Submit to the will of God
2. Put on the full armor of God
3. Be present and maintain strong connections with family
4. Have a support system of other strong men.

 

Steps to setting up and maintaining home protection

1. Stay connected to God and His word.
2. Dedicate time to being present at home
3. Establish bonding time with spouse and children, both separately and together.
4. Closely monitor outside commitments
5. Keep all commitments with the family
6. Seek fellowship with other men of faith
7. Look for areas within your mental, physical, spiritual, or financial that need strengthening
8. Monitor the issues and activities tying up your time, energy, and resources.
9. Repeat steps 1-8